The Christmas Shoes is a song by the Christian band New Song, where it’s the story of a guy who’s grumpy doing Christmas shopping, and then he sees this impoverished little kid explaining that he’s buying shoes for his DYING MOTHER, which is taken as a sign that God sent this kid to teach the guy a lesson about the real meaning of Christmas, which is apparently spending your mother’s final moments in line at a department store to buy a pair of shoes because “I want her to look beautiful/ if mommy meets Jesus tonight”
i hate this fucking song so fucking much sentimental narcissistic self-righteous tragedy porn i am getting so angry just thinking about it
it was also turned into a shitty Hallmark movie starring Rob Lowe
We know Morgan was “like thirty btw” back in the winter (alt text, Chapter 5 page 89). Morgan also said it’s been “a decade” since Maggie’s “death” (Chapter 6 page 139). We can stretch that “decade” to, let’s say, twelve years if we assume Morgan rounded down. If she’s thirty now, and it’s been twelve years, that would mean she was eighteen when Maggie “died”—a normal age for a senior in high school. Those numbers fit together well, so I’ll use them.
McBell turned twenty-one back in the fall (Chapter 3 page 2). If she’s ten years old in this scene, that means it happened eleven years ago. If Morgan was a senior in high school twelve years ago, then eleven years ago would be her first year of Clown College. So, by my estimate, she’s still a student clown in this scene.
In short, the timeline works, even if there’s not a lot of wiggle room.
So, exactly 50 pages ago (page 115) we had another Sticky Bun-related McBell flashback, and back then I said that I thought it was going to be a Forgotten First Meeting with a younger Mustard or Binky that would turn out to be inspirational for young McBell. Of course back then it was the future chief of police instead.
Now, that phone mayyy have spent six months in deadly quiet but now it has rung in a related set of circumstances in the same story arc, and I want it on the record that I freaking called it.
….Still not putting any money down on an Inigo Montoya-style Sticky Bun confrontation between McBell and the police chief though. Well, not MUCH money at any rate.
Possibly “prepare to be clowned on”. At worst. Grudges over lost food aren’t, as they say, a pretty sight, but ten years would be an awfully long time to nurse one.
This page, as many of them before, is a masterpiece of storytelling in sequential art!
(My awe was shortlived thou. Then I googled “Christmas Shoes” and got tooth decay in my ears…)
I have a new theory. (And I promise it’s just a theory. I haven’t peeked at the Patreon pages.)
What if someone else dies in Mustard’s place?
Picture it: Echo has Mustard helpless on the ground. She rushes forward for the killing blow, when out of nowhere, a dark figure leaps into her path! Shckk! Stabbed in the chest.
It’s Binky, responding to Mustard’s distress signal.
It makes a horrible kind of sense. Mustard will feel terrible because she dragged Binky into this mess. Bout will feel terrible because he never got a chance to reconcile with his dad after their big argument. McBell’s answering machine message remains ironic, because she doesn’t know that the things she admires about Mustard are the things Mustard threw in the garbage to go chase after her sister. Bad feelings all around. It’s perfect.
And for bonus points, it would be a riff on the old “cop who dies just before retirement” cliché, given that Binky resigned from the Corps this morning.
Alt text for mobile readers:
This forgotten memory was later adapted into the song Christmas Shoes
Well, this clearly debunks my theory of McBell secretly being a clone of Maggie.
I’d say there’s still room for it, but it was always a longshot
If it makes you feel better, it also debunks my theory of Maggie being the one who inspired McBell.
THIS IS WHY SHE WANTED TO BE A CLOWN
also
HOW DARE YOU CALL DOWN THAT CHRISTMAS SHOES EVIL IN THIS WHOLESOME CLOWN COMIC
What is,,, christmas shoes
The Christmas Shoes is a song by the Christian band New Song, where it’s the story of a guy who’s grumpy doing Christmas shopping, and then he sees this impoverished little kid explaining that he’s buying shoes for his DYING MOTHER, which is taken as a sign that God sent this kid to teach the guy a lesson about the real meaning of Christmas, which is apparently spending your mother’s final moments in line at a department store to buy a pair of shoes because “I want her to look beautiful/ if mommy meets Jesus tonight”
i hate this fucking song so fucking much sentimental narcissistic self-righteous tragedy porn i am getting so angry just thinking about it
it was also turned into a shitty Hallmark movie starring Rob Lowe
OH
OHHHHHHHH
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
They’re doing a secret origin flashback? Yeah, Mustard’s cooked. She’s done. You don’t get to live after one of these.
… wait a minute. I assumed McBell was like, nine or ten in those flashbacks. And she must be at least eighteen now.
Is she remembering Mustard as a clown? How long has she been one?
Mustard was a trainee when she wore this(chapter 6 page 137), so that adds a bit of time.
She’s also probably a bit older than she looks, if only because of malnutrition. Though art choices probably help her looking younger as well.
That second one could apply to both of them.
We know Morgan was “like thirty btw” back in the winter (alt text, Chapter 5 page 89). Morgan also said it’s been “a decade” since Maggie’s “death” (Chapter 6 page 139). We can stretch that “decade” to, let’s say, twelve years if we assume Morgan rounded down. If she’s thirty now, and it’s been twelve years, that would mean she was eighteen when Maggie “died”—a normal age for a senior in high school. Those numbers fit together well, so I’ll use them.
McBell turned twenty-one back in the fall (Chapter 3 page 2). If she’s ten years old in this scene, that means it happened eleven years ago. If Morgan was a senior in high school twelve years ago, then eleven years ago would be her first year of Clown College. So, by my estimate, she’s still a student clown in this scene.
In short, the timeline works, even if there’s not a lot of wiggle room.
So, exactly 50 pages ago (page 115) we had another Sticky Bun-related McBell flashback, and back then I said that I thought it was going to be a Forgotten First Meeting with a younger Mustard or Binky that would turn out to be inspirational for young McBell. Of course back then it was the future chief of police instead.
Now, that phone mayyy have spent six months in deadly quiet but now it has rung in a related set of circumstances in the same story arc, and I want it on the record that I freaking called it.
….Still not putting any money down on an Inigo Montoya-style Sticky Bun confrontation between McBell and the police chief though. Well, not MUCH money at any rate.
Like “My name is Mary McBell. You stole my Sticky Bun. Prepare to die (of diabetes)!”?
Nah…
Possibly “prepare to be clowned on”. At worst. Grudges over lost food aren’t, as they say, a pretty sight, but ten years would be an awfully long time to nurse one.
Comically long, one might say.
This page, as many of them before, is a masterpiece of storytelling in sequential art!
(My awe was shortlived thou. Then I googled “Christmas Shoes” and got tooth decay in my ears…)
You’re like the opposite of the Lucky 10000. I knew The Christmas Shoes all too well, I used to work in a mall, it is my fucking nemesis
There was a move. It starred Rob Lowe. I was compelled to hatewatch it out of pure disgusted fascination
(there’s also a Patton Oswald routine about the song)
Morgan: I saw nothing
I am not crying, you are all crying!
OMG SHE’S GONNA DIE
Yeah, RIP young mcbell. Young mustard is going to confetti her to death.
I have a new theory. (And I promise it’s just a theory. I haven’t peeked at the Patreon pages.)
What if someone else dies in Mustard’s place?
Picture it: Echo has Mustard helpless on the ground. She rushes forward for the killing blow, when out of nowhere, a dark figure leaps into her path! Shckk! Stabbed in the chest.
It’s Binky, responding to Mustard’s distress signal.
It makes a horrible kind of sense. Mustard will feel terrible because she dragged Binky into this mess. Bout will feel terrible because he never got a chance to reconcile with his dad after their big argument. McBell’s answering machine message remains ironic, because she doesn’t know that the things she admires about Mustard are the things Mustard threw in the garbage to go chase after her sister. Bad feelings all around. It’s perfect.
And for bonus points, it would be a riff on the old “cop who dies just before retirement” cliché, given that Binky resigned from the Corps this morning.
Damn that’s dark but interesting. If that happens I’ll be so sad. Binky is like a top 5 or 3 clown corps character for me in.
If I remember correctly, wasn’t Binky’s last conversation with Bout a fight? Even more bad feelings to go around!