The Christmas Shoes is a song by the Christian band New Song, where it’s the story of a guy who’s grumpy doing Christmas shopping, and then he sees this impoverished little kid explaining that he’s buying shoes for his DYING MOTHER, which is taken as a sign that God sent this kid to teach the guy a lesson about the real meaning of Christmas, which is apparently spending your mother’s final moments in line at a department store to buy a pair of shoes because “I want her to look beautiful/ if mommy meets Jesus tonight”

i hate this fucking song so fucking much sentimental narcissistic self-righteous tragedy porn i am getting so angry just thinking about it

it was also turned into a shitty Hallmark movie starring Rob Lowe

If I remember correctly, wasn’t Binky’s last conversation with Bout a fight? Even more bad feelings to go around!

What is,,, christmas shoes

Damn that’s dark but interesting. If that happens I’ll be so sad. Binky is like a top 5 or 3 clown corps character for me in.

And for bonus points, it would be a riff on the old “cop who dies just before retirement” cliché, given that Binky resigned from the Corps this morning.

What if someone else dies in Mustard’s place?

Picture it: Echo has Mustard helpless on the ground. She rushes forward for the killing blow, when out of nowhere, a dark figure leaps into her path! Shckk! Stabbed in the chest.

It’s Binky, responding to Mustard’s distress signal.

It makes a horrible kind of sense. Mustard will feel terrible because she dragged Binky into this mess. Bout will feel terrible because he never got a chance to reconcile with his dad after their big argument. McBell’s answering machine message remains ironic, because she doesn’t know that the things she admires about Mustard are the things Mustard threw in the garbage to go chase after her sister. Bad feelings all around. It’s perfect.

Yeah, RIP young mcbell. Young mustard is going to confetti her to death.

You’re like the opposite of the Lucky 10000. I knew The Christmas Shoes all too well, I used to work in a mall, it is my fucking nemesis

There was a move. It starred Rob Lowe. I was compelled to hatewatch it out of pure disgusted fascination

(there’s also a Patton Oswald routine about the song)